Not the Muppets I Remember

Some 30 years ago, I put my still-treasured cassette of The  Muppet Movie soundtrack through its paces. “Rainbow Connection,” “Movin’ Right Along,” “I Hope That Something Better Comes Along,” “Never Before, Never Again,” “I’m Going to Go Back There Someday” — I knew the lyrics and snippets of dialogue by heart.  Haven’t listened to it in ages, but I can still bring back the melodies and words — a testament to the endurance of these classics written by Paul Williams and Kenny Ascher.

The songs from this year’s much-hyped The Muppets isn’t up to its predecessor’s quality, but it does try hard, with earnest offerings like “Life’s a Happy Song,” “Pictures in My Head and “Muppet or Man,” the last of which is more memorable for its cute celebrity cameo than anything else.

That same earnestness carries over to The Muppets — a trait that has clearly endeared many a film critic.  I, too, found the affair sweet and sincere — but also flat.

The movie pays tribute to a beloved part of a pop culture, and plays as a refreshing alternative to the humor of irony, sarcasm and snark. But The Muppets sags under the weight of reverence for its characters. Anyone who watched their TV show knows the Muppets endeared themselves through the irreverence that their game guest stars afforded.

Here, Kermit comes across as a bit of a wet rag. Miss Piggy isn’t quite the diva she used to be, a trait that made her all the more sympathetic when she’d cover her “Kermie” in kisses.

Of the two high-profile, kid-friendly nostalgia acts that I caught this year,  Winnie the Pooh was the more enchanting of the two — and a much better film. It told its story with wit and charm, staying faithful to the spirit of the original Pooh shorts of the mid-’60s while arguably improving upon the template.

I appreciated The Muppets, but I didn’t enjoy the film as much as I was prepared to. In light of all the resounding praise, I kept expecting it to reach another gear of inspiration. The Muppet Show was filled humor both silly and sly. The telethon-themed revival that concludes this film lacks something no Muppet movie should – energy and a sense of madcap fun.

Beady Eye and High Flying Birds

Beady Eye (Different Gear, Still Speeding) and Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds (Self-titled): Freed of sharing the studio with his older brother, Liam reveals himself to be the full-on Lennon fetishist we always knew he was. When he nasally whines “I just want to rock n roll,” you almost believe him.  While Beady Eye lifts the chord progression from “Instant Karma” for “The Roller,” the elder Gallagher has taken to lush, mid-tempo would-be anthems you’ll swear you’ve heard before. Which you probably have.

Both of the boys come up with songs that are as familiarly melodic and riffy as you’d expect, which would be nice if they weren’t so forgettable. They have nothing to say, and don’t even realize it. That was OK when Oasis briefly ruled the world with its brashness and swagger and stupid, hooky tunes (at least for the first two albums). How neither of these siblings have written a song titled “Y’know, Y’know, C’mon, C’mon” remains an enduring mystery.

The Droid RAZR destroys neighborhoods

The Droid RAZR: Light posts, public art, stop lights, Chinese lanterns, and that old-timey sign for the business that’s been around since 1973. Nothing can stop it.

Jessica Alba makes like Zooey

An Invisible Sign – An online ad for this, Jessica Alba reimagined as an indie-film darling, a la Zooey Deschanel, but with poutier lips. Not sure if that’s an improvement over Honey or the wife of Mr. Fantastic. Certainly better than being Dane Cook’s love interest. This excellent takedown in the Old Gray Lady is a pleasure. Dishonesty and bad punnery from the tagline: “Count on the unexpected.” The incriminating poster to the right. The trailer below, if you dare.

The next time the press complains about pay-for-play in college athletics …

Florida Gators embarrassment a few years in the making – A bit of myopic outrage by St. Pete Times sports columnist John Romano, in which “embarrassing,” “hopeless,” “depression” and “humiliating” describe how unacceptable it is that professional football team the Florida Gators have fallen so far as to lose four straight. Which hasn’t happened since the last time they lost four straight. Nearly redeemed by the image of fat, catatonic Gators fans in blue-and-orange pajamas, unable to lift the coffee mug as they watch the replay on Sunshine Sports. Wait — how much empathy is that supposed to elicit?

Goodbye St. Pete, Hello Tampa Bay

What’s in a name? Maybe the fortunes of a newspaper and the region it represents.

At midnight Tuesday, the St. Petersburg Times announced it will become the Tampa Bay Times to ring in the new year, 2012.

The column attributed to CEO Paul Tash offers a lengthy defense of the change. As Tash explains it, the new name was needed because most readers of the paper reside outside of the St. Petersburg area. While acknowledging the significance of messing with a respected brand that has been established for over 110 years, Tash offers a few justifications, among them the common denominator of “Tampa Bay” among the area’s professional sports teams, “Tampa Bay” as the listed destination for flights to Tampa International Airport, and the newspaper’s history of philanthropy throughout the region.

He even provides a cute, nostalgic anecdote about Orlando ridiculing St. Pete while competing with the area for a Major League Baseball team over 20 years ago.

My initial thought was that money is the driving force  behind the change, and perhaps it is. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that this is about nothing more than getting more eyeballs in order to move businesses to spend their advertising dollars with the Times (assuming enough is out there to be made in this economically distressed period we’re suffering through).  Tash noted the St. Petersburg Times is already the region’s most-read newspaper, so I’m not sure swapping out a name will have that much of an impact in the short term.  Most likely the upper brass isn’t expecting it to, and this could be just part of a larger overhaul of the paper’s infrastructure. As recently as this month, the Times has been dealing with its financial hardships through layoffs and furloughs.

It was another passage, however, that got me to thinking the Times could be trying to change more than just its fortunes by swapping “St. Pete” for “Tampa Bay”:

But like other citizens and civic leaders, we recognize that all our communities have a stronger future as part of a dynamic Tampa Bay region, rather than a constellation of towns and cities jockeying for advantage against each other.

This sure sounds like Tash editorializing about the alleged rivalry between Pinellas and Hillsborough (not without significance regarding the paper’s financial interests). While I’m not convinced that dynamism and competition among municipalities are at odds with one another, the point Tash is making about the benefits of cooperation comes through. Personally, I’m looking forward to the Tampa Bay Times, and to see whether something as simple as a name change could be the catalyst to something far more important — an area’s revival and growth as it alters its self-perception.

What’s in a name? We’ll see.

Take a Pass on this “Hall Pass”

The Farrelly Brothers’ latest, Hall Pass, is out in theaters. You can read my review at Creative Loafing Tampa.